FUN FUN and MORE FUN, Nah, she's not spoiled!

Amelia had such a good time at my sister's last weekend! She LOVES going there...I have NO idea why:)Maybe it's her three "big, girl" cousins who entertain her for hours.Or Aunt Laurie, who will run around their beautiful backyard with her and play WHATEVER she wants. Or getting to bake cheese cake for Hannah's birthday - and then getting to eat cheese cake (her favorite!).
Or just MAYBE it's Uncle Phil, who not ONLY bought her a Build-A-Bear, but an outfit for it that Mom said she didn't need. AND then took her to play on the soft-play area while Mom shopped. AND then to The Gap to pick out a new outfit ("I told him I didn't need pink pants because I already had pink pants, so I got these instead"). AND then took her to play glow-in-the-dark Mini Golf.
I just have NO idea why Amelia likes going to Aunt Laurie's so much:)

Just Amelia and Me

I took yesterday off work, and planned to take Amelia to the amusement park on the way home from Aunt Laurie's if we had good weather - it was PERFECT! The sun was shining, but it wasn't humid, or too hot. I was nervous that the park would be crowded after a holiday weekend, but there wasn't a line for anything. We had an absolutely perfect day, just Amelia and me!

We ate lunch at Aunt Laurie's then stopped at the shoe store to get me some tennis shoes since I left mine at home. Amelia got a quick nap in on the way to the park and we got there about 1, just as everyone else was leaving to eat lunch. Last year, Amelia wanted to ride EVERY SINGLE ride, this year, she was actually afraid of some of the rides. The Froggy Hopper was her absolute FAVORITE ride last year, she went on it multiple times. Yesterday I had to talk her into going on it, and it took her a LONG time to start enjoying it. She still enjoyed the kiddie rides like the boats and motorcycles, but I had to get on the kiddie Chuck Wagon Ferris Wheel with her...That's OK it was MUCH better than the HUGE one she made me ride last year; which she did NOT want to go on this year. Thank GOD! Amelia NEVER forgets ANYTHING and last year she won prizes at a frog game and a duck game, so we had to go find the games. Once she played those, she was pretty much done with the amusement park. We had been there 1 hour and 20 minutes! Amelia was in a HUGE hurry to get to the new addition to the park - a water park! This was relatively small - they didn't have any of the huge water slides the Wisconsin Dells has, but it was PERFECT for Amelia. She went down EVERY SINGLE slide - which meant I went down them all too. We couldn't go together, but I would follow her up and then go down the slide right before or after she did - the funny thing was I was more scared than she was. I LOVED seeing the smile on her face as she rounded the turns - it was PRICELESS. After a few hours in the water park, we got cleaned up to go home; of course we had to walk ALL the way back through the amusement park to get to the car, which meant going on a few more rides. Amelia liked the lady bugs However, our favorite was the Tea Cups; we got ours spinning so fast I thought we were both going to be sick. I don't know that I have ever heard her giggle that hard! On the way out we stopped to get Amelia's cotton candy and to take the train around the park - then we called it a day. And a great day it was, just Amelia and me!

Tragedy at the Mall!

Amelia and I decided to make the trip to my sister Laurie's for the 4th. The plan was to walk in the children's parade at home and then drive to my sister's right after. We woke up on the 4th to rain and 60 degrees; the parade was "cancelled" for us. We took our time and left for my sister's in the afternoon as her girls had to work until 8 anyway. There is an outlet mall between here and there that makes a nice place to stop...and we were going to visit friends who just brought their second daughter home from China in April, so we HAD to go to Children's Place to get a gift:)

When Amelia first came home from China she liked towels, she had 4 or 5 small towels that she would snuggle and suck on at nap and bedtime. I was VERY careful that she did not get attached to just one. Then her teeth started to come in and she started to pull the strings out of the towels with her teeth, so we switched to thermal receiving blankets. It took awhile, but eventually she accepted these as a substitute. Again I was VERY careful not to let her get attached to just 1...in fact we had 13 of them; some at home and some at daycare so that she could have a clean one daily.

I'm not sure when it happened...but ALL OF A SUDDEN Amelia became attached to a particular blanket. This wasn't even one of her blankets; yes it was a thermal blanket, but it was one Grandma bought at a garage sale for her to use for her dolls. It was very worn out and had another child's initials on it...this was BLANKIE. Blankie goes EVERYWHERE! I generally do not allow Blankie to go into stores, for fear of her getting lost, but Saturday I wanted to shop and didn't feel like fighting Amelia in the rain to get her to leave Blankie in the car; so along she came.

We were at the mall a couple hours and only went to a few stores; it was getting later than I wanted to be there, so we ran into Subway to get some dinner. Amelia dropped "Blankie" her best friend on the floor and I picked her up and said, "You better be careful or you are going to lose her." Blankie is a girl! Little did I know what was about to happen. After Subway we ran into The Gap as I had a black shirt on - and of course I could not wear a black shirt on the 4th. The store was PACKED and the fitting rooms were full, so I just tried my shirts on over my tank..picked one, paid and left. We went from Gap to a 50 cent ride outside of Children's Place that I promised Amelia she could ride if she was good. She road the plane - then we climbed in the car and took off.

A half hour down the road Amelia asked, "Where's Blankie?" I turned around and stared in horror! I didn't have her - she didn't have her. I got off the Interstate at the next exit - pulled over to the side of the road and dug!! I looked through every bag - through the stroller - tore the car apart - Blankie was gone! I got back in the car and looked at Amelia. "Where did you have her last?" "Did you have her on the airplane?" "Did you have her when we left the store where mommy bought her blue shirt?" She didn't know.

I knew we had Blankie when we left Subway, so she had to be at The Gap, in the parking lot, or in the Airplane by Children's Place. I started pulling out receipts, I called Gap - they didn't have her, Children's Place, hadn't seen her, Mall Office, no one had turned her in at lost and found. There was no point in turning around as the mall would be closed by the time we got back...no one had Blankie...I was panicked. Amelia scary calm...it was as if she didn't care. I knew I was in for a LONG night.

We got to my sister's and she completely understood the problem...her girls are all over 17 and STILL have their blankies...they even offered them to Amelia. They didn't fit the bill. Laurie dug through the doll blankets, the blankets she saved from when they were babies - NONE of them worked. Amelia finally fell asleep, but it didn't last long. She cried and cried HARD- the grief was intense and it killed me to see her in such pain.

Sunday after church where I instructed Amelia to pray that God take good care of Blankie - and a visit with our friends - we headed to the mall. While Amelia played with her Uncle Phil (more on that later!) I went to EVERY store in the mall looking for a substitute. You see Blankie has to be thermal - but SOFT...and that isn't easy to find. Remember I have 12 at home that are not acceptable, even though I continue to wash 5 of them EVERY time I do towels - just in case something like this ever happened. I finally found a package of 2 that I thought would work. I bought them, hunted Amelia down, she was hesitant to accept them, but finally took the blankets and immediately did a suck test. THEY PASSED! She only woke up once last night and the new Blankies seemed to do the job - although she continued to ask about Blankie and whether she would ever see her again. I was honest...I said I didn't think so.

I continued to call the mall office multiple times a day, even though I left my name and number, because they are supposed to get ALL the lost items for the entire mall -and on the way home tonight we stopped to check in person...NO LUCK! I said, lets just go check at The Gap to make sure...we walked in and I went up to the first person I saw. I asked if they'd found any childrens blankets. She said, "Is it white?" I said, "Well, it used to be pink - now it's more grey." She went behind the counter, picked up Blankie with one finger (just like me) and said, "Is this it?" Amelia GRABBED Blankie and immediately started sucking on her(after it had sat on the floor for 2 days!) It was ALL I could do not to start crying and hugging this woman! It was WAY better than winning the lotto!!!

Needless to say - we have a new rule, Blankie is now housebound. She will no longer be allowed to leave the house and the new blankies I found yesterday will be going to school. We are NEVER EVER EVER going to lose Amelia's BEST friend - who she plays with, dances with and talks to - AGAIN - EVER!!! (Pardon the blurry photo...my camera also saw a bit of tragedy when it got stepped on at the fireworks...Amelia was just trying to jump on my lap...OOPS!)

4th of July!

We had an unusually cold 4th of July. It was jeans and sweatshirt weather all day...brr. It wasn't weather for swimming or picnics...we skipped the annual kids parade where kids ride their decorated bikes and hand out candy and headed out to my sister's house a couple hours down the road. Amelia wanted to see the fireworks with her cousins like last year.

It wasn't any warmer, but we still had fun. Amelia handed out the glow bracelets and bubble gum we had bought for the parade to my sister's friends at a party. Nearly 50-year-old men in pink glow bracelets = priceless! The gum was a big hit with the teenage boys as they shot off their illegal fireworks while blowing big pink bubbles.

Next we headed off to another party to actually watch fireworks, this was a party my niece Hannah's friend was having with her family, so there were LOTS of teenage girls, and some younger kids. The noise from the fireworks didn't bother Amelia at all, but she was very cautious with the sparklers at first! That was just fine with me!!

 

The fireworks were great and we had a fun evening, we always do...then it was off to bed, for a very very LONG night...which I will write about another day.

Forever Family For Four Years!

Four years ago today, I was a shaking single woman when Director Yu handed me a tiny little 9-month-old-girl with stickin' up hair; today I am a single mom holding a growing 4-year-old girl. It doesn't seem possible that four years have gone by already. I thank God, daily that Amelia's first family made it possible for me to be her mother.
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July 3, 2005 - The Day We Met In China

China Checks Out Charges Babies Taken From Home - WSJ.com

China Checks Out Charges Babies Taken From Home - WSJ.com
The thought that babies were taken from their Chinese parents because they could not pay the fine sickens me. Yet,if we look back in our own, American history, how different is this from what happened in the U.S. in earlier decades when we told unwed mothers, you can't be a good mom right now, "But don't worry we'll find your baby a home with a mom and a dad."

Adoption is wonderful for adoptive parents like me - yet there is always hurt...even in the ideal situation when a parent surrenders a child willingly, the first parent is still a parent in his/her heart and mind, and the child as I've witnessed with Amelia, no matter how loved, will always ache from the absence of the first parents.

In a perfect world, there would be NO need for any child to leave his/her first family. Society would find a way to support families so that they could remain intact. I realize there will always be extremes when a child wouldn't be safe in a first family, but when there is a parent willing to do his/her best to provide love, care, and a happy home to a child, should we not do everything we can to support their choice and help them remain together?

My life would not be the same without Amelia in it...but how different would her life be if she had a chance to be raised with her first family? I'm not saying I would change my decision to adopt, I'm saying that in addition to adopting the world's orphans, we need to look at ALL the reasons children aren't with their first families and see what we can do to help keep them together.

Ballerina Baby

Amelia is feeling much better - FINALLY. After being home with me Monday, and Grandma Tuesday and Wednesday it was time to go back to school today. Her temp had been 99 since last night, so I was comfortable sending her - and she did just fine. Today was their class picnic and parents were invited. I was able to walk over and play with Amelia and her friends and enjoy lunch on a blanket. I love that Amelia's daycare is so close to work!
After work we went to pick up her dance pictures - I am actually quite happy with them. Parents weren't allowed in the studio for the 10 minutes TOTAL they spent photographing the 9 girls individual and group photos, so I had very low expectations - but I was pleasantly surprised! Amelia had a couple of big milestones tonight!
First we took her training wheels off of her bike. She's been asking me to do this since spring and I finally decided I had time to work with her this weekend, so we would do it. Well she rode it up and down the driveway with me hanging on and that was it. She was too nervous. We'll keep trying, but it's fine with me if we put the training wheels back on:)

After we came back in the house we could hear the older neighbor kids playing in the backyard. The sweet little girl next door invited Amelia to come out and play with them - so she went outside - WITHOUT ME. This was the first time she's played with the neighbor kids outside without a parent hovering. Of course I was about 20 feet away and could hear everything. She only played for about 20 minutes before it got dark, but she thought she was pretty cool!

Tomorrow is a very special day for us as we celebrate 4 years as a family! I am off work and school is closed, so we'll be doing something special together. I truly CANNOT believe it's been four years already!

Growing Girl!

Amelia woke up with a fever today; 101.4 - not really that high for her, but no daycare:( I gave her a Motrin and asked if she wanted to go to Grandmas...no luck. I really should have known something was up when she took a 4 hour nap yesterday and went to bed earlier than normal last night.
I decided to take her to the doctor, just to be safe. Generally if she has a temp and is still acting sick after Motrin it's viral, but when she acts fine then it's an infection.

Today after the Motrin kicked in, she got most of her energy back, so I assumed she had an ear infection or something. I took her into the doctor and - WRONG! Ears clear, sinus clear, she did have some ick on her throat, so they did a strep test, negative - VIRAL! We came home and she took another LONG nap while I did some work.
She hasn't had any Motrin for at least 6 hours now and I think the fever is gone, but Grandma is on stand-bye for tomorrow just in case!

Since we were at the doctor anyway I asked the nurse to measure her - she's been growing like a weed. She's up to 42 1/4 inches - but still only 35 pounds. Basically she's grown 3 inches and 3 pounds since her 4-year physical in October. Don't kids usually grow during the summer? If how much she's been eating is any indication, she'll be up at least another inch by her next physical!

Amelia bellied up to the food table with her buddy Riley at the shower yesterday. I think she ate 3 plates of Chinese noodles, 3 mini cupcakes, 6 mini cheesecakes, and 3 pounds of vegetables!

First Lost Tooth!

 

Amelia has had a lot of teeth filled in the short time she's been going to the dentist. Luckily she is a real trooper and does great in the dentist chair! Earlier this month we went to the dentist for our 6 month check-ups and found that Amelia had MANY more issues than she has had in the past.

We went back a few days later and she had a crown put on on one of the least affected teeth. Dr. G. wanted to do a little work the first time he gave her Novocaine to see how she'd tolerate it, and she did great. About a week later we went back for the BIG visit, this was the hardest visit on me. Dr. G. had to take care of the two teeth that had the abscess. They were right next to each other. Each of them required a Pulpectomy which is essentially a root canal on a baby tooth. Dr. G. then had to cap each of the teeth. I think this was the most painful part of the process as it took a LONG time to get the caps cut down to the right size for her little tiny teeth. I would have been exhausted after a trip like that - Amelia wanted to go to school.

Our last visit to the dentist (for at least 5 months, keeping fingers crossed) was last Monday. Amelia was going to have a tooth pulled. This one was small enough that if her other teeth start coming in crooked, Dr. G. can put a spacer in to hold the spot until her permanent tooth grows in. I wasn't worried about this visit as Dr. G. has pulled my teeth (prior to my 2nd round with braces) and I knew he would be gentle. Amelia was VERY nervous! We talked about the Tooth Fairy coming, and her cousins got her a neat book about the Tooth Fairy with a little purple pouch to put her tooth in. I bought her "The Tooth Book" and We talked about how it would feel funny, and maybe sound weird, but it wouldn't hurt.

A few days before she had the tooth pulled Amelia put her little purple pouch under her pillow without my knowledge. The Tooth Fairy left her a note that said, "You tricked me, I only come to houses where children have lost their teeth. I will come back when you have a tooth for me." Amelia was shocked! The day to have her tooth pulled finally came - she was fine leaving the house and kept talking about how the Tooth Fairy was coming that night to bring her a present. I kept reminding her that the Tooth Fairy only brings a little money.

Dr. G. numbed up her mouth and started waiting for the Novocaine to kick in. I asked him if the development of her permanent teeth was appropriate for her age and he said just by the x-rays it looked like it. He also said the longer it took for them to come in the better! When her mouth was finally numb he started working on her - Amelia was making A LOT of noise; yet I could tell she couldn't feel anything. Dr. G. stopped to make sure she was numb; she was. I said, "I don't think she can feel it, I think she's just afraid it's going to hurt." Amelia replied, "Yeah the second one." Dr. G. proceeded and got the tooth out. I couldn't believe how decayed it was!!!

Dr. G. thinks, as I do, that Amelia's bad teeth are a combination of poor prenatal nutrition, poor nutrition as a baby, bottle propping, and likely hereditary bad teeth (I have that problem too!) all made worse by teeth grinding. He really hopes that her permanent teeth will come in much healthier, but if they don't we'll deal with that when the time comes. When she gets older we can also get her a mouth guard to wear to stop the teeth grinding if that doesn't stop on it's own.

Amelia felt better pretty quickly after her tooth came out. She was more numb than before and was drooling everywhere! I was glad I made the appointment for the end of the day, so we could come home and she could relax. She was excited to go to bed that night...she put her tooth under her pillow. Tuesday morning when I woke her up she was looking all over the bed for her present - I reminded her that the Tooth Fairy only brings a little money. Then she looked for her purple bag - and was excited to find a $2 bill!

It's been a LONG month, but I'm happy it's over, and that I have dental insurance!! Amelia says her mouth feels A LOT better!

How do you respond?

I was just at a baby shower and the hostess was Chinese, but from Singapore. She thanked me 3 times for adopting Amelia and said quietly and only to me "you know what they do to girls there?" I only assume that this woman who was about my age was simply being genuine; but it made me uncomfortable...I never know what to say in circumstances like this.
I don't feel like I adopted because I wanted to do something great for a child; I adopted for me. I am not too proud to admit that...I needed to parent and couldn't justify bringing a child into the world to be raised in a single parent home when there are so many kids who don't have any parents.
Add to that the fact that I have no desire to be pregnant, to carry a child, or to give birth and adoption was really the only option for me.
I was also asked today if I had any children; my reply? "Amelia is my only child." Hello, she's sitting on my lap calling me Mom - YES I have a child!
This was a really nice shower; however, I kept wondering if the people there that didn't know me, thought that I felt sad that I didn't give birth to Amelia - and that being at a baby shower might make that worse. That is SO not the case, I brought Amelia into my family exactly as I wanted to and I am SO SO excited for my friends to be growing their family - in a way that is right for them. I can NOT wait to see how a little girl rocks their world:)